Dear Academy, After seeing your nominations for this year’s Oscar contenders, I couldn’t help but notice that one movie was missing. A star-studded masterpiece that has more action, adventure, romance AND comedy than all the other nominees combined. I’m obviously talking about Jumanji: The Next Level. How could you overlook…

“A woman? Huh, how about that?” “I guess, she got bored hanging around bars with no men hitting on her.” “Her scoreboard is bound to end up like all my attempts to reason with my wife: pointless.” “But maybe with all these drunk guys around, she should finally have some…

Silence! The Court is prepared to proceed to sentencing. This decision has not been made lightly, but after reviewing all the evidence carefully, there is only one reasonable conclusion. By the power vested in me, as your mother, it is with a grave heart that I sentence you to start…

“Shotgun!” “Sure, I can go again.” “Ride or die!” “Oh thank god, a Volvo.” “No seatbelt? No problem!” “To infinity and beyond!” “Catch you on the flip side.” “Oh cool, I’ve never tried an electric scooter before.” “Hi, I’m here to fill in for Greg?” “Carpe that Diem!” “Okay, last…

“Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it.” — Salvador Dali “Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.” — George S. Patton “If your presence doesn’t make an impact, your absence won’t make a difference.” — Trey Smith “Only put off until tomorrow what you are…

“Women? Huh, how about that.“ “Houston, we have a problem, we can’t park the shuttle. HA!” “Probably a publicity stunt.” “It’s kinda like when they put that Ruth girl on the Supreme Court.” “But hey, at least NASA is saving some money.” “And if we sent all women up there…